Easing back-to-school anxiety 

Back-to-school time can bring excitement and anticipation, along with stress and anxiety, for some students.

Whether it’s getting to know a new teacher, navigating a new school, or fitting in on the playground, the new school year usually comes with a transition period. Parents can help their children during those first few weeks with these tips from Steve Kopp, Ph.D., executive director of Genesis Psychology Associates.

Establish routines at home

“Help your child make the transition before the transition happens,”

Steve Kopp, Ph.D.
Genesis Psychology
Associates

Dr. Kopp says. “Establish bedtime routines, wake-up routines, and mealtime routines. Having those structures in place will give kids a sense of focus and control and make it easier for them to handle all the transitions they are facing at school.”

A little anxiety is normal

Remember, the launch of a new school year comes with anxiety-inducing “firsts,” whether meeting a new teacher, opening their new locker, or finding a friend to sit with at lunch. Beyond the first day, there’s taking the first test, trying out for a new sport, or raising their hand to answer a question. There are social unknowns of recess or riding the school bus, for example.

“Anticipatory anxiety is a very normal reaction to transition,” Dr. Kopp says. “Parents need to be mindful that some kids will have this. It’s all part of the preparatory process of coming into something new.”

Validate their feelings

Listen and acknowledge your child’s feelings. Try not to dismiss their concerns, even if they seem minor. Provide support and understanding. Show them you have confidence in their ability to handle the situation. “Parents don’t want their kids to feel uncomfortable or suffer. So when the kid says, ‘I’m nervous,’ the parent often says, ‘Oh, you’ll be fine.’ In their attempts to make the child feel better, they actually invalidate their feelings and experiences,” Dr. Kopp says. “Instead, validate their feelings by saying things like ‘I know it’s scary,’ or ‘Change is hard.’”

Help them talk through their anxiety

Parents may know their kids are worried or anxious, but getting them to share their feelings can be challenging. Don’t ask questions that require only a one-word answer like ‘fine’ or ‘OK.’ Instead, ask open-ended questions that will get them to share more. “Ask questions like ‘How did you handle it last year?’ ‘What did you learn?’ ‘How are you going to use what you learned to help you this year?’“ Dr. Kopp says.

Another approach is to ask about other kids. “Ask how their friends are doing. Ask how other kids deal with this problem. By using circular questioning, parents can help their child see outside their own perspective.”

When to seek outside support

When do parents know it’s time to seek help? Look for any personality or behavioral changes. “If a kid goes from being a great sleeper to suddenly not sleeping at all or suddenly picks up something like bedwetting, that can be a major sign,” Dr. Kopp says. “If the change in behavior is aligned with the school transition, let it play out a bit, give them more support and more quality time. But once you’re thinking, ‘That’s not my kid,’ you need to need to check that out. Always trust your intuition as a parent.”

Seek help and utilize community resources, such as a school counselor, teacher, therapist, or pediatrician. “It’s better to be proactive when it comes to mental health issues than to be behind the eight-ball and reactive.”